EFT Couples Therapy

Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples is currently available.   Couples often request assistance in healing significant relational wounds, sharing feelings, thoughts and needs, setting boundaries, nurturing skills and tools, re-engaging in sexual intimacy and trust,  restoring a sense of adventure, joy and play, as well as navigating issues related to addiction or other "survival-based" coping mechanisms that have wounded relational bonds.  Couples also seek counselling to explore the possibility of separation with dignity, grace, and mutual respect.  

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a well-known humanistic approach, developed in tandem with adult attachment theory.  Change in EFT occurs from the formulation and expression of new emotional experience that transforms the nature of the interactional drama, particularly as it pertains to needs, care and emotional validation or safety. 

In session, we will have the opportunity to nurture  what is referred to as the A-R-E's of Intimacy - exchanges that are  Accessible, Responsive and Engaged.   We can begin by noticing and learning about the patterns of your specific conflict-based “dance” or “sparring match.”    These  patterns  or  interpersonal dynamics can look like the following examples: 

- one partner attacks or pursues and the other withdraws  = attack-withdraw pattern

- both parters fight = attack-attack pattern

- both partners isolate or stop communicating = withdraw-withdraw pattern 

Once we have an understanding  of your patterned dynamics, including your emotions, thoughts and body sensations during conflict (tight in chest, ridged or slumped) we can focus on deepening each partners availability to engage in  open, direct, honest encounters.